September 26th, 2008 8:30 p.m.

I wish I could describe the beauty of this place! There is a primal beauty here. As I do kora in the mornings around this magnificent Stupa, I am often pestered by little boys begging for money and/or food. As I continue around, I see calves and full grown cows sitting next to benches as the old treasures, the men and women who have been aged by grace, sit and talk. I continue around and I see dogs that look like they are barely alive. Being eaten alive by fleas and scabies and who knows what else as their skin barely covers their rib cage. And I continue around as merchants say prayers, light incense, and give offerings in hopes that today will bring enough money for them to feed their families. And I continue around and walk ever so slowly next to a hunchbacked monk who may have one tooth in his head, but is muttering mantras faster than I can even decipher it.

As I walk back to the gompa, I travel along treacherous paths. This morning I walked a path that was less than 12 inches wide with an 18 foot deep hole on one side and a concrete path over 20 feet below me on the other side. I timidly climb this hill, but knowing in great safety that this is not my time to go. Why? Because there is a great peace this place brings to you. It is ok if it is my time, but I know it isn’t. I still do my ‘woohoo’ dance though when I safely make it across the road.

As I write this, an old Tibetan couple sits with Lama-la. I have never seen so many beautiful people in my life. The deep lines in their brown skins. Turquoise dripping from their ears. Maybe some teeth, maybe not. I want to just sit with them. Hold their hands. Like Ako, the old monk that lives here. Oh how my face lights up each time I see him. He is a vision, such grace and beauty!

Tears come as I think of leaving this place. I miss my family, but this place sinks in deep to your soul and I hunger for more of it and I haven’t left yet.

Enough of the whimsy. I was saddened today that I could not be with my baby as I know he struggled. It was a long day at work. He had a bit of troubles there. I know that our finances worry him and I know how much he loves my support and care. On top of that we received some bad news about his oldest son. I know it is throwing him into turmoil. His oldest son is 16 years old and we don’t hear from them very often. His ex-wife does not tell us anything about them and has tried her best to keep them sequestered from us.

Until today, Jake (Tim’s son) was arrested for theft. He is most likely addicted to drugs. This comes to us as a great shocker as we have not heard anything about any hint of anything other than he is a great musician, loves outdoor sports, and is a wonderful, obedient child. I am not saying he isn’t wonderful. He has such a beautiful heart and is truly awesome.

Today as I did kora I prayed that he might open like a lotus flower. That he might find great compassion. That he might… awaken. I pray this for all of my children each day as I do kora, but I had forgotten about my other 2 children. Tim’s boys are my boys. I want to fly to Idaho this minute and hug him. Hold him. To let him know he is loved beyond imagination.

I want to do this for my baby as well! To let him know he is loved! Beyond understanding! To let him know that things might appear difficult, but I have faith. I have faith in him. I have faith in our path. I have faith that this life is a great blessing. I know he knows this, but sometimes it is good to hear again.

I am feeling very philosophical today. Well, everyday in this great land of beauty. In this great land of suffering. Maybe I am more at peace today. Ok, so let’s get down to what I did today, lol!

I woke up before dawn. I showered and what not and headed down to morning puja. By this time, the sun was peeking out and lighting up the morning sky. Anna helped me with a couple of questions. I decided to type out all of my Buddhist practice and have it bound together for ease. It is so much cheaper here for copies, printing, and binding that it made sense to do it now instead of later. The whole thing cost me about $1.

I headed into Boudha meeting a ngakpa that comes to our monastery for all day pujas. We chatted a bit and then we crossed over the road work. A bit scary. I remembered to walk home a different way to avoid the various work that is happening around the area. I got on the net and learned about Jake while chatting with Tim.

I purchased some malas to sell at the Center. Rosewood as that is one of the cheapest natural materials here. Sandalwood would have been nice, but also 6 times the price. I then had my practice printed and bound.

I went in for a blessing with Lama-la. I had my mandala and water bowls blessed as well as my new mala.

Then Anna and I headed out for Tomel. We picked up my thankga and left the one she gave me so that it can get the brocade. One of the men will deliver it tomorrow at 3 p.m. I can’t wait! I’m not sure when I will have them blessed by Lama-la. I also purchased some dvds on Tibet and 2 music cds. And I purchased 3 pairs of pants and 2 shirts in bright and fun colors. Buying clothes here isn’t easy since they are made for very small people. There are plenty of overweight people here, but they have all of their clothes custom made. Even if I was to be at a perfect weight, clothes shopping would still be difficult!

We had lunch with one of Anna’s friends. We shopped a bit for carpets, but I didn’t find anything I liked. So we came back. I headed up to my room and finished my practice for the day. Then it was time for evening puja, dinner, and here I am am.

Day after tomorrow Dechen and I are going to try to go out to lunch together. That will be tricky as she tries to be here to attend to all of Lama-la’s needs. I tell her every day that she is going to miss me so much that she’s going to cry. Which probably isn’t even close to the truth as her sister arrives the day after I leave for a visit. But then she’ll miss me, I know it.

Yesterday, or maybe the day before that, the monks told me that I was their sister. I thought that was so sweet until I learned that if I’m their sister than I have to do everything they ask of me and buy them everything they want. So no, I’m not their sister. They can be very naught, demanding little things. I will be their friend. Lol!

As I was in a hurry today, I brought my laptop down and started working on typing things up during puja. Oh my! I caught their attention. I have seen very few laptops as nice as mine here and only foreigners have them. To be truthful, I have not seen any as nice as mine. If an internet place has laptops, they are really old, thick, monstrosities.

I noticed even Kunga walked past me a couple of times to take a look. Some of them sat and watched the whole time and I was just sitting and typing. Not even in English, I was typing in what they call Roman here. Roman is the Tibetan texts written so that English speaking people can read it. Not phonetically either. So English speaking people can sort of read it with practice.

Maybe tomorrow I will purchase some little supplies. Like incense. They have amazing incense here! Tons of bulk herbs, like juniper and cedar. Sitting in huge gunny sacks all over the place. Tom tells me that you can buy a large bag of it for cheap. So I might do that. Not sure what I will do tomorrow. I think Lama-la and Dechen might be gone in the morning for a bit and I think tomorrow might be a holiday for the monks. It is holiday for most people so about a quarter of the shops won’t even be open tomorrow.

Not that all I can think to do is shop. It is something to do and will such little time left I don’t have a whole lot of options. Especially with holiday tomorrow.

Well, I am going to end this here. Much love and Medicine Buddha!